But He knows the way I take; When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold. Job 23:16
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. James 1:2-3
I’ve had some difficult test and trials lately. Perhaps you have also. If so I pray this ministers to you also. I would like to tell you that my first response to these issues was to count it all joy, and start dancing, but the truth is quite the opposite. I’ve reasoned why, and tried to figure it out, I’ve nurtured my hurt feelings way too much. I’ve allowed these issues to take up way too much space in my mind. Why would I do this? I know that the feelings I have described do not help and are a total waste of my time. I’ve resented, I’ve been angry and I must confess, I have even wondered “why God wasn’t fixing it”? Because you see I didn’t do anything to deserve this, so what is going on?
I prayed, and I said, the truth Father is I feel like you are allowing this to happen to me and I don’t understand. What a novel idea and what boldness right? No, it was hardcore honesty and truth with my Father, who is my protector, my strong tower, my refuge, my redeemer. But then I knew. This has purpose and He is preparing me for more or He wouldn’t allow it. He warned me, as to prepare me so I’m not caught completely off guard but I am shocked and disheartened. But I have made a decision. I have decided to count it all joy.
It Has Been My Pleasure
Oh my Lord, How do I love
More than words can say
Learning how to love You more
With the dawn of each new day
Loving You through tough times
Through the struggles and the trials
Loving you through the tears
Understanding and wisdom bring smiles
When tough times come
And they always do
I will love You in the valleys
And in the battles too
What the enemy means for evil
You will turn around for good
The more I seek to know You
It is clearly understood
Unseen trial and attacks
The ones I don’t want to bear
I’m learning are part of the regimen
Making of warriors in Your special care
I love You even more
So I just thought To let You know
That when it seems the hardest
I know You are causing me to grow
It is with the resistance
Under the unbearable strain
Then I realize it’s a workout
And now I am to train
Tough times don’t last
But tough people always do
Your remnant a peculiar people
You strengthen and carry through
In the end all that will truly matter
Is knowing You will settle all accounts
And we are all gathered together
No earthly gain could e’re surmount
What better time to fully see
I didn’t quit or bring You displeasure
Because My Lord How do I love You
I say Thank You for the trials, it has been my pleasure
© laurette laster May 2019
If I have learned anything in my walk with God, it is that He doesn’t allow us to remain weak. We can quit at anytime, that is a free will choice, but if we are to continue on to know The Lord, much of the training is at our own expense. If these struggles, the hurts, and yes even betrayals, and trials, had the ability to destroy me, God would not allow them. So with this said, I understand it is training and growth for the next season. If The Lord is strengthening me, He must have something bigger ahead for me to carry. I love God with all my heart so I will consider them all joy, and find the purpose in the pain.
So now I understand (in part) my dream, and the meaning of the two crosses I discovered among the beautiful jewels. In my dream, I discovered two crosses, each beautifully colored when I opened the top drawer of a large chest. I knew in my dream that the chest had belonged to my mom. I instinctively walked over and opened the top drawer. The top drawer was overflowing with jewels. I had never seen this very grand wooden chest of drawers. It must have been five foot tall, it was very large. There were several drawers in the chest. In my dream I was going to arrange all the jewels on a large memory cross. I had hired someone to build a large wooden cross that I could hang on the wall above my bed displaying all of my mother’s jewels that I had discovered. The cross I had built was about four foot tall, and two and half foot wide. I remember being enthralled by this find as I was admiring all the jewels. There was a faceless man (Holy Spirit) with me, someone I couldn’t see but I knew He led me to this find. As I continued to look through my find, I discovered two crosses among the jewels. These had belonged to my mom and were among the jewels, but I had never seen the crosses nor the jewels before.
The top drawer, meaning higher or highest place, crosses, places of suffering and dying to self, and colors that have meaning. One cross was deep orange, (the color for perseverance and endurance) and the other cross was deep ocean blue (the color of revelation) now I understand, each have deep relevance and meaning. In His Cross I must add perseverance, endurance, and rely on revelation to go forward. What about the jewels? What are they for? The jewels are for His crown.
Jesus said if we wanted to be His disciple and to follow Him, to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily. Luke 9:23
So with perseverance and by His revelation I will prepare to grow and train for my next season. Hey if it were easy, everyone would do it, right?
God bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up His countenance on you and give you Shalom.
Until next time, thank you for listening with me. Laurette